You’re Not Failing: What ‘Enough’ Really Looks Like in Homeschooling

If you’ve ever stood in the middle of a messy kitchen staring at a pile of dishes, glanced at the untouched spelling book, and wondered if you’re completely screwing up your child’s education… you are not alone.

I’ve been there more times than I can count. I can guarantee almost every homeschool parent has. But often we feel like we are the only ones struggling. It’s hard to feel seen when everyone on social media seems to have it all together. But comparison is the thief of joy. 

There were days I felt like a complete failure and wondered if homeschooling was the right choice for us. The resistance to even put on clothes for the day had me exhausted before we had even gotten to the “learning” part of the day. 

We didn’t do math again. My kids are resisting everything I try to do with them. Can we even call this homeschooling? Or on the roughest days, I think all we did today was snack and argue. 

But here’s the thing I’ve learned (and I want to pass along to you): If you’re worrying about whether you’re doing enough, chances are—you definitely are. You are not failing at this homeschool thing. In fact, there really is no way to fail!

Where Did ‘Enough’ Even Come From?

No matter how much we deschool or tell ourselves that we know our homeschool isn’t supposed to look like school, a lot of us are carrying this invisible yardstick, one shaped by traditional school systems. 

Those measurements we hold on tight to are full of lesson plans, testing benchmarks, and perfect Pinterest routines.

We’ve grown up being told that grades are how we measure our children, and when we take those away as homeschoolers, sometimes we panic. How will I know they’re progressing if there are no grades?

But homeschooling isn’t school at home. We get to define what success looks like. And honestly? That definition can be a whole lot simpler than a report card full of letters.

Enough doesn’t mean finishing every workbook or nailing every subject every day. It can look like:

• Showing up with love.
  
• Trusting your child’s curiosity.
  
• Reading one great book on the couch.
  
• Having a real conversation at lunch.
  

That counts. All of it. 

Real Learning Doesn’t Always Look Like a Lesson

We’ve been conditioned to think learning only happens at a desk, with worksheets and pencils. But in real life, it’s messier—and way harder to measure.

It’s so easy to miss the every day learning that happens when we can’t get out of the school mindset that has been drilled into us. 

Every day I have to stop and remind myself that while I’m nagging my kids to start their bookwork, I might be taking them away from other important learning opportunities. 

Most of the time, I’ll take a step back and find the value in what is happening in front of me. 

Your child is learning when:

• They help you bake muffins.
• They listen to an audiobook while working on a puzzle. 
• You answer their 400th question of the day.
• They write their own song, poem, play, and turn it into a production.
• They tell a sibling, “That hurt my feelings,” and try to work it out.
• They get lost in a book or spend hours drawing comics.
  

None of that fits neatly in a curriculum planner, but it’s real, and it matters.

You Don’t Need to Be the Perfect Teacher

In fact, I don’t ever consider myself my childrens’ teacher. I might use another word to describe my role in their education: facilitator, guide, cheerleader. But I am not their teacher. I don’t stand in front of them lecturing, and (gasp!) I’m not responsible for their learning. 

As crazy as it might seem since they are currently 7 and 10, their daily learning is their own. I provide resources, opportunities, and exposure to new things. I read them books about all kinds of things and might check their understanding or retention at times. But I can’t force things into their brains.

Forced learning is the worst kind. How many of us actually remember all of the boring information we were tested on and forced to memorize throughout our school years?

Let’s let go of the idea that we need to constantly push information onto our kids. 

Your kids don’t need a minute-by-minute schedule or someone who has it all figured out. They need you. A safe, steady adult who shows up, loves them, and is willing to learn alongside them.

I can’t tell you how many times my kids ask me something, and I have to tell them I don’t know. There is so much power in admitting that we don’t know everything, but we are willing to learn along with them. 

I don’t just tell them, “I don’t know,” and leave it at that. We go find out together. We engage in conversation about the thing they’re curious about and go down a rabbit hole. 

And it’s not just the academics where you’re teaching them skills. You’re modeling so much just by being present. When you make space for questions, when you admit you’re tired, when you try again the next day—you’re teaching them resilience, honesty, and grace. Those are life skills that can’t be measured by a test.

You’re Doing More Than You Know

Counting your wins instead of focusing on what you’re not getting to in a day can change your entire perspective. 

Let’s take a minute to name some wins. Did you…

• Read aloud for five minutes?
  
• Answer 300 questions before lunch?
  
• Break up sibling drama without losing it (or only losing it a little)?
  
• Feed everyone something besides cereal?
  
• Find the perfect YouTube video about a specific topic that kept everyone engaged?
  

Those things count.

We overlook the small, steady things we do every single day. But those are the building blocks of a safe, connected, lifelong learning environment. They are enough.

When You Still Feel Behind

Some days are going to feel like a mess—and that’s okay. On those days, I come back to this:

“Connection first. Curiosity second. Everything else can wait.”

Pick one thing that feels doable. Read a book. Take a walk. Snuggle and talk. That’s a school day in my book.

Also? Keep a list of your “invisible wins.” Seriously. I made a printable for this very thing (grab it below!). Sometimes we just need to see it in writing to believe we’re making progress.

Let Grace Be the Guide

If you’re still reading this, it’s probably because you care deeply. And that’s what makes you a good mom, parent, or guardian.

Free Printable: You’re Doing More Than You Think

Need a reminder on the hard days? Download this calming one-page printable with invisible wins you probably checked off today—without even noticing. Hang it on your fridge or tuck it in your planner as a quiet reminder: you are doing great.

👉 Invisible Wins